I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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