roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize