it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Randomize
