There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
