my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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