So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
