you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Randomize
