I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Randomize
