i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
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