how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
