Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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