Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I faked an abortion last night.
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
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