Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
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