I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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