Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Randomize
