I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
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