Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
