all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
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