Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
