is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
