And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Randomize
