please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I just gargled with NyQuil
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Randomize
