Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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