Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize
