Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
