So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
