Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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