Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
barbara walters just said penis...
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
what the fuck happened to the tacos
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
