Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
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