Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
