i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize
