spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
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