I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
