Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
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