I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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