I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize
