Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
