I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Randomize
