Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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