i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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