I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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