fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
