i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
COCAINE IS GR8
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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