Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
