make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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