Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Randomize
