when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Randomize
