i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
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