New invention idea: vibrating tampons
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
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