They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
