Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
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