I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
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