pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
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