I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
If that was your dad, he is hot
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
